Uncertain T's

I like reading t-shirts with sayings on them. They give you a clue as to the personality of the wearer, don't they? My t-shirts usually have the name of a play with which I've been associated, or they have frogs or horses on them. It's not hard to figure out what my interests are by looking at my shirts. I don't think anyone would be offended by them, either. Unless, of course, you're biased against frogs or horses or hate the theater..........
My daughter and I attended an outdoor theater production last summer and were sitting there enjoying the beautiful evening, dining on subs and chips and Oreos (yeah, we're a class act) and chatting amiably when into our direct line of vision lumbered a rather large man - unshaven, hair stuck up all over his head (an unfortunate electrical outlet accident, perhaps?), dirty velcro sneakers, and he was probably in his late 20's. He stood right in front of us, visiting with his friends and when he turned in our direction, we saw the front of his t-shirt. It had a very LARGE arrow pointing down to his crotch and the words above it said "$5 FOOT LONG."
SERIOUSLY???? Daughter and I looked at each other, first in horror, and then in a fit of giggles. We tried very hard to maintain our composure while desperately wanting to saturate the air with loud, unlady-like guffaws and cries of, "EW! EW! EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"
Just before Christmas I was wandering aimlessly through Target in that pre-Christmas trance, when I noticed a young guy walking toward me wearing a black t-shirt that had an arrow with a point on each end (up & down). Interesting, I thought. As he passed by me, I realized that the arrow going up was pointing to "MR. RIGHT" and the arrow going down pointed to.....(are you ready for this?) "MR. ALL NIGHT." 
I suppose people like that go all through their lives wondering why they can never get a date! And lest you think I'm picking on the men, I've seen some very eyebrow-raising t-shirts on the ladies, too! Don't these people THINK about what they're wearing when they go out in public??? 
Start reading the t-shirts around you. It's a real education!! (WalMart is the best place to start but I'll warn you......it's not for the faint of heart! LOL)

Poop In The Parking Lot

Seriously, am I the only one who finds dirty diapers in the parking lot?? Last summer my daughter and I had to go to WalMart and as we walked around to the back of my truck in the parking lot, she suddenly squealed, "EWWWWWWW! Oh, my god! EWWWWW!!" While pulling into the parking spot, I'd run over a dirty disposable diaper and there it lay, like a mutant squashed bug, gelatinous innards and nasty brown goo splatted everywhere! And the other day when I got out of my truck at the local grocery store, I looked down to see another diaper! This one was still taped together as tho someone had been walking along holding a baby and the diaper just fell off - whomp! - onto the ground. You'd think someone would notice that they were carrying a butt naked baby. So there it was, still taped but with brown crap squirting out around the edges. Why do people do that? Don't they know what a trash can is? It's that big metal or plastic thing with a swinging door or maybe a plastic bag draped around the edges. Geez.
These are not isolated incidents, either! And how about the idiots who decide to empty their car ashtrays or toss their MacDonald's bags and left-over food in the parking lot? IT'S NOT A GIANT DUMPSTER, PEOPLE!!!
It's gross. Watch where you step next time you go shopping. That goo on your shoe just might be poo!